From board games to mobile apps, today there are a host of playful products designed to make romantic relationships stronger, healthier, or even spice them up. And these may have real value, according to an American psychologist. He developed a relationship wellness application and tested it on over 400 couples, who came out stronger, more connected and more satisfied.

Can love withstand the test of time, everyday problems and even major upheavals? While it’s impossible to give a general answer to this vast question, it does seem more likely that striving to strengthen, or even improve, your relationship might help it to withstand such trials.

While some people prefer couples therapy to achieve this, others are now turning to more accessible, and sometimes more playful, methods. There’s the example of an Advent calendar specifically designed to ease tensions and (re)connect with each other, but there are also a host of mobile applications developed for the same purpose.

This was the subject of research by Ronald Rogge, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Rochester, US, who, together with Khadesha Okwudili, a former student at the same university, developed an application based entirely on relationship wellness.

“Our primary goal was to create an app that couples would intrinsically enjoy using, which would naturally grow in popularity, and thereby organically extend its reach,” says Rogge, who has been researching relationships and families for nearly 30 years.

The application in question, called Agapé, is the result of a personal reflection on the part of Khadesha Okwudili. Suffering from a serious health condition and not knowing how long she had left to live, the young woman decided to open up more to those around her.

“Over time, I realised that although my health was deteriorating, my relationships started thriving in a way that they hadn’t before,” she explains.

The result was a relationship app with thousands of questions designed for a wide range of couples. Published in the Journal Of Family Psychology, the pilot study carried out on this app now shows that it enabled a majority of couples to significantly improve their relationship in just one month of use.

Communication is essential

The study involved 405 couples, mostly heterosexual (91%) and aged between 20 and 30 (84%), whose relationship was an average of 4.6 years old. Most of the couples in the trial were satisfied with their relationship overall, but almost a third were notably not satisfied.

The object was simply to test this app, which sends registered couples daily questions, including things like “What’s something that your partner did in the past week that made you laugh?”, “Describe a time you were thankful to have your partner by your side”, or “What unique skills would your partner bring to surviving a zombie apocalypse?”

The idea is to allow both partners to answer, and then let them see each other’s response, in order to spark a conversation and foster moments of connection.

The results of this experiment seem conclusive, with 80% of participants observing an improvement in their relationship. Not only did the main subjects report a reduction in perceived flaws, or negative characteristics, in their relationship, but they also noted an increase in satisfaction with and commitment to their relationship.

And that’s not all, since seven in ten participants reported an improvement in their well-being and a reduction in depressive symptoms.

The two researchers also point out that the couples who invested the most in the application, and therefore answered the most questions, were the ones who noted the greatest improvement in their relationship.

Although this is only a pilot study, the two authors - who are also shareholders in the company behind the application - are delighted with the initial results. They are already seeking to extend the app’s use to family relationships and friendships.

“Using the app with more people in your life is likely to have even stronger individual benefits because we know that connecting with others is a fundamental psychological need,” concludes Rogge.

Whether you’re using this app or one of the many others that exist in the field, the results of this research above all highlight the importance of conversations, discussions and setting aside time to connect and communicate away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

 - AFP Relaxnews