Dear all,

I was inspired by blogs and comments in i3 to write the following New Year thought. Hence I would like to share this thought with all.

“Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.” – Albert Einstein

I just reread the chapter 28: THINK BEFORE YOU CRITICISE. From the book’ “How to win friends and influence people.” by Dale Carnegie.

The important message from this chapter, “History will be kind, if people had learnt early the bitterness experience that sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurt his sense of dignity and worst arouse resentment and make him strive to justify himself and take his revenge/vindication at any cost.”

President Obama had learnt too late he should not ridicule and humiliate an invited guest Donald Trump publicly back in 2011 White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner. And Hillary Clinton strong condemnation, “Putin as ex-KGB agent has no soul” Imagine what will Putin feel, when he is the head of state of Russia? Very importantly what is Hillary Clinton thinking, when she is inspired to run for the Office of President of the United States?

As of the question; “Is respect/trust earned or given?”

Trust is earned by your track record but respect is by your manner and not earned by your past achievement, your academic qualification, your high position in your career, how rich you are or how philanthropist you are?

Respect is something that we choose to give because you value people. If you value someone, you will want to tell them the truth. You will want to share your opinions or your vast experiences and knowledge with them honestly and completely. Your sharing should be done without berating the person, without insulting them or their opinions and without causing hurt, shame, bitterness, animosity or resentment.

It hurt deeply to be called stupid, idiot, loser, no-brainer, fool, retarded, dotard, good for nothing and etc. We can always practice give and take (give more than you take/give thanks and take nothing for granted) or agree to disagree with respect and dignity.  No need for hurtful name-calling.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Write to people the way you want other to write to you or remember you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Respect is given to those who show respect for others and not earned by achievement, position or wealth.

“Don’t do unto others what you don’t want done unto you”- Confucius.

Winning isn’t everything. Especially win an argument but lose the relationship.

• 人活著，沒必要凡事都爭個明白。
• 跟家人爭，爭贏了，親情沒了；
• 跟愛人爭，爭贏了，感情淡了；
• 跟朋友爭，爭贏了，情義沒了；
• 跟上司爭，爭贏了，工作沒了。
• 爭的是理，輸的是情，傷的是自己。

Translation:

• When we are alive, no need to win every argument.
• Argue with family member, won argument, family relationship gone;
• Argue with love one, won argument, love fade;
• Argue with friend, won argument, friendship gone;
• Argue with the boss, won argument, job gone.
• Argue for the sake of arguing, lose is love/relationship, hurts and pains self inflicted.

I wish all a Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year. To those intend to drive back to hometown celebrating CNY together with extended family members, drive carefully and enjoy your reunion dinner. I too will spend the CNY in my hometown Alor Setar with my mum, my wife, my siblings and all the children.

Thank you.

Yours Sincerely

SS LEE

PS: Malaysia is on the wrong track and only the change of government in GE14 will have a chance to right this wrong path/past. Far too much blames has been levelled at us Chinese Malaysian. Enough is enough please vote out the corrupted MO1 and his decadent, Kleptocratic Government in GE14 and save Malaysia from be ruined.

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