Although I am not a psychologist, I have lived long enough to know how to improve my relationship with my partner. I Googled and found these useful tips for you.

Getting into a relationship requires hard work. You need to make sure you’re doing all of the right things so that both you and your partner have your needs met. But people frequently behave in ways that they think are in the best interest of the relationship but actually create resentment. Here are 7 things you might be doing that are causing far more harm than good.

You are constantly “correcting” your partner’s behaviors

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been in relationships where our significant other has habits that we find annoying. We’re not talking about major things like getting drunk in the middle of the day or otherwise acting inappropriately. When you’re constantly pointing out your partner’s flaws or telling them how to act, what you’re really doing is controlling them. Trying to make them conform to your ideals is not what love and intimacy are about.

When you’re upset with your partner, you keep them guessing about the issue

Let’s face it: there is no perfect relationship. When you’re living together, managing your money, raising your kids, and dealing with the stresses of life, it’s perfectly normal to get frustrated with your partner. However, there is nothing worse than being upset but refusing to address the problem or even deny you’re angry when it’s so obvious. Many people do this because they don’t want to be confrontational, but in the end it turns a routine issue into something even bigger. So speak up right away and find a resolution before it gets out of hand.

When they want to go out with their friends, you insist on tagging along every single time

On the surface, wanting to be with your partner all the time might seem to indicate that you love them and can’t stand being away from them. But as endearing as it sounds, it could actually be a sign that you’re codependent, insecure, and overly jealous. There are times when you need breaks from each other, even if it’s just to spend a couple of hours with your friends.

You feel like you need to “win” every argument

No matter how compatible your partner might be, there are undoubtedly times when you don’t see eye-to-eye. When this happens, you could be tempted to assert your power and only end the disagreement once your partner agrees that you are “right.” However, this is a disastrous way to view your relationship. Instead, you should think about the reasons for the conflict and find a compromise, even if it ends up being one of those “agree to disagree” resolutions.

You threaten to break up during every argument

Using the “if I don’t get my way, this relationship is over” card is highly manipulative and a strong indicator that you have a lot of work to do if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. Threatening to break up might help you get what you want in the short term, but things are bound to grow toxic and unstable in a hurry. Never use these threats as a weapon; if you are going to say these things it is best to just follow through and end the relationship.

When your partner is going through difficult times, you offer no meaningful support

When your significant other is feeling down about something, the absolute worst thing you can say is “cheer up” and “get over it.” You might think your advice is useful and your intentions are good. After all, who wouldn’t want to feel good again and move on with a quick snap of the finger? But in reality, by not being there for them, you’re making this all about yourself. In other words, what you really want is for them to bounce back so that they can tend to your needs, or at least not bother you with their worries. Ultimately, we never have a right to tell others — not even our partners — how they should feel since it is another sign of control. You don’t have to be a seasoned psychologist in order to find ways to offer comfort to your partner.

You pay more attention to your smartphone than to your partner

We get that it’s nearly impossible to put down our smartphones in this day and age, but there are times when you need to take a pause from counting up your “likes” on Instagram. For instance, when you’re on a date with your partner. Going to the cinema or restaurant with them so that you can claim to be physically together isn’t enough; you need to remain engaged. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been with him/her for two weeks or two decades, your complete focus should be on them, not scrolling through your Twitter feed or texting your friends. If you find yourself doing your own things even when you’re at the same table, it signifies that there is some big disconnect in your relationship.