LETTERS: We are bombarded with information about today's youth being rude, ungrateful and selfish. But, what about those who are older?

An incident where a young cashier was yelled and cursed at by a couple in their 50s at a hypermarket in Shah Alam last Saturday tells us that the display of disrespect by not complying with social norms or etiquette is age subjective.

The couple were unloading their trolley filled with grocery items at an express-lane counter, which could not handle more than 10 items per transaction. The cashier had politely requested that they go to a regular counter.

The couple took offence to this and verbally abused the cashier. The husband went a step further by making threatening gestures. They proceeded to continue doing so despite the cashier being relieved by the supervisor on duty. 

It was an ugly scene to watch. The couple had caused an almighty din, seemingly oblivious that they were in a shared space.

They were rude, ignorant and inconsiderate. It was an undignified spectacle by senior citizens who are old enough to know better. They should have had greater self-control over their emotions. Yes, the customer is always right. But this does not mean a customer should be rude, heartless, or amoral.

Sometimes I think that I was born in the wrong era. I still say "please", "thank you" and "excuse me" even though these may have gone out of style. And I still stand aside and wait for others to exit a lift before entering, even though this gesture is often not reciprocated.

Rudeness is a contagious behaviour that spreads rapidly. The act of being rude or being at the receiving end of rude behaviour can impede a person's productivity as well as his emotions and health.

Coarse language has become part of public discourse, and it does not even surprise us anymore. Even in Parliament the language of courtesy has diminished. Parliamentary sessions have become screaming matches. Contempt for authority is prevalent.

Some people have even crossed the line by asking personal questions about one's finances, which can push a friendly talk into "inappropriate territory". Even worse is when the answers to such questions about money lead to resentment or unwelcomed advice.

British-Zimbabwean writer and University of Edinburgh Medical Law Professor Emeritus Alexander "Sandy" McCall Smith once said, "manners are the basic building blocks of civil society". Unfortunately, I can say that slowly but irreversibly, we find ourselves living in an increasingly impolite society.

I believe that the whole country wants civility. But, why are we not having it when it does not cost us anything; no federal funding and no legislation involved. The answer to that is the unwillingness to restrain oneself.

As articulated by American journalist, author and etiquette authority Judith Martin: "Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others."

SUZIANAH NHAZZLA J.

Shah Alam, Selangor

https://www.nst.com.my/opinion/letters/2020/12/646817/whats-happened-politeness-todays-society