Koon Yew Yin's Blog

Happiness is our ultimate aim in life - Koon Yew Yin

Koon Yew Yin
Publish date: Tue, 02 Feb 2016, 08:05 PM
Koon Yew Yin
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An official blog in i3investor to publish sharing by Mr. Koon Yew Yin.

All materials published here are prepared by Mr. Koon Yew Yin

I am aware that this forum is to help people to make money. But after you have made more money than you require, you have to learn how to acquire happiness which should be your ultimate aim in life.

There are many forms of pleasure and the ultimate aim is happiness.  Human behavior being motivated by pleasure alone is evidenced from infancy to adulthood. In modern philosophy, human behavior is governed by a need to increase pleasure and decrease pain. All humans live to maximize pleasure.

From an evolutionary perspective, humans and animals primarily seek to survive and protect their lineage. Essentially, the need for the individual and for the individual's immediate family is to live better and happier. That is why we all have to work to make money to live better and happier every day. 

A few years ago, the Perak Academy invited me to give a talk on HAPPINESS. In my research I read the book called The Conquest of Happiness by Lord Bertrand Russell who was one of the greatest British philosophers in the twentieth century. He was a Nobel Winner for literature. It is a very difficult book to read because there are too many big words in every page.

It is a road map for everyone to achieve happiness. It is easier to achieve happiness if you know what causes unhappiness and what makes people happy. It is easier to achieve happiness if you know how to get it. I strongly recommend you to read it.

Let me give you a summary of the book. As I said it is a very difficult book to read and it is even more difficult to make a summary. 

The book falls neatly into two halves: the causes of unhappiness and the causes of happiness. The first chapter “What Makes People Unhappy?” can be viewed as an introduction to the book, and the final chapter “The Happy Man” as a conclusion.

Preface: People who are unhappy could become happy if they are well-directed. They only need common sense and not some profound philosophy. 

The Causes of Unhappiness

1. What Makes People Unhappy?

Russell’s  purpose is to suggest a cure for the ordinary day-to-day unhappiness from which most people in civilized countries suffer, and which is all the more unbearable because, having no obvious external cause, it appears inescapable. He believed the unhappiness to be largely due to mistaken views of the world, mistaken ethics, mistaken habits of life, leading to the destruction of that natural zest and appetite for possible things upon which all happiness ultimately depends.

2. Unhappiness 

It is common in our day, as it has been in so many other periods of the world's history, for people who are wise enough, to have seen through all the enthusiasms of earlier times and have become aware that there is nothing left to live for. The wise man will be as happy as circumstances permit, and if he finds the contemplation of the universe painful beyond a point, he will contemplate something else instead.

3. Competition

Russell paints a bleak picture of the businessman so obsessed by competing with other businessmen for success that the rest of life passes him by. "Success can only be one ingredient in happiness, and is too dearly purchased if all other ingredients have been sacrificed to obtain it.

4. Boredom and Excitement

We have come to associate boredom with unhappiness and excitement with happiness, but Russell argues that boredom and excitement form a separate axis entirely, having little relationship with happiness. "Running away from enemies who are trying to take one's life is, I imagine, unpleasant, but certainly not boring. ... The opposite of boredom, in a word, is not pleasure, but excitement." The confusion of excitement and happiness, and the flight from boredom that it entails, is a chief cause of unhappiness. The cure is to teach oneself to endure boredom without running from it.

5. Fatigue

This chapter is actually about worry. Russell believes that such physical fatigue as people feel in the industrialized world is mostly healthy, and that only "nervous fatigue", caused largely by worry, is really destructive to happiness. Russell believes most worry could be avoided by learning good thinking habits, by refusing to over-estimate the significance of possible failures, by taking a larger perspective, and by facing fears squarely.

6. Envy

If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon. But Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I dare say, envied Hercules, who never existed. You cannot therefore get away from envy by means of success alone. ... You can get away from envy by enjoying the pleasures that come your way, by doing the work that you have to do, and by avoiding comparisons with those whom you imagine, perhaps quite falsely, to be more fortunate than yourself.

7. The Sense of Sin

Traditional religion, in Russell's view, has saddled us with an ascetic moral code that will make us unhappy if we keep it (by denying us joy in life) and also if we break it (by causing us guilt). The only solution is to root this moral code out of our unconscious, and replace it with a code less inimical to human happiness.

8. Persecution Mania

This is probably the most amusing chapter of the book, as Russell uses his droll wit to puncture human self-importance. "My purpose in this chapter is to suggest some general reflections by means of which each individual can detect in himself the elements of persecution mania (from which almost everybody suffers in a greater or less degree), and having detected them, can eliminate them. This is an important part of the conquest of happiness, since it is quite impossible to be happy if we feel that everybody ill-treats us.

9. Fear of Public Opinion

Very few people can be happy unless on the whole their way of life and their outlook on the world is approved by those with whom they have social relations, and more especially by those with whom they live. Fortunately the modern world gives us some choice about where we live and who our friends will be.

The Causes of Happiness

In general, the second half of Conquest is not as impressive as the first. After you know the causes of unhappiness, it is easier to acquire happiness. Once the obstacles to happiness are removed, happiness just happens -- somehow.

10. Is Happiness Still Possible?

Fundamental happiness depends on your friendly interest in persons and things. ... The kind of interest in persons that makes for happiness is the kind that likes to observe people and finds pleasure in their individual behavior and trait, but without wanting to control over them or to secure their enthusiastic admiration. The person whose attitude towards others is genuinely of this kind will be a source of happiness and a recipient of reciprocal kindness. To be able to like many people spontaneously and without effort is perhaps the greatest of all sources of personal happiness.

11. Zest

Zest is the x-factor that causes us to be interested in life. Russell has little to say about what zest is or how to obtain it. He does argue against those who would devalue zest by claiming that it is a mark of superior taste not to be interested in vulgar or lowbrow subjects. "All disenchantment is to me a malady which ... is to be cured as soon as possible, not to be regarded as a higher form of wisdom. Suppose one man likes strawberries and another does not; in what respect is the latter superior? There is no abstract and impersonal proof that strawberries are good or that they are not good. To the man who likes them they are good, to the man who dislikes them they are not. But the man who likes them has a pleasure which the other does not have; to that extent his life is more enjoyable and he is better adapted to the world in which both must live."

12. Affection

One of the chief causes of lack of zest is the feeling that one is unloved, whereas conversely the feeling of being loved promotes zest more than anything else does. Unfortunately, considering the importance of affection to happiness, this chapter is almost completely descriptive rather than prescriptive. Russell describes the types of affection and evaluates their effects, but gives little advice about how to either give or get higher quality affection.

13. The Family

Of all the institutions that have come down to us from the past none is in the present day so disorganized and derailed as the family. Affection of parents for children and of children for parents is capable of being one of the greatest sources of happiness, but in fact at the present day the relations of parents and children are, in nine cases out of ten, a source of unhappiness to both parties, and in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred a source of unhappiness to at least one of the two parties. This failure of the family to provide the fundamental satisfactions which in principle it is capable of yielding is one of the most deep-seated causes of the discontent which is prevalent in our age.

14. Work

Whether work should be placed among the causes of happiness or the causes of unhappiness may perhaps be regarded as a doubtful question. Russell places it among the causes of happiness for a number of reasons:

    1. It passes time.

    2. It provides an opportunity for success.

    3. The work itself may be interesting.

15. Impersonal Interests

Certain interests are central to a person's conception of his/her life: career, family, and so forth. In this chapter Russell asserts the value of having interests that are not central, that have no effect on the major issues of life. Such hobbies and pastimes serve two purposes: (1) They provide an escape from larger worries, and distract the conscious mind so that the unconscious can work productively toward a solution. (2) They provide a reserve pool of interest in life, so that if disaster or a series of disasters destroy the pillars that support our central interests, we will have the possibility of growing new central interests.

This chapter contains an important tangential discussion of "greatness of soul" which I discuss under the Transcending Personal Hopes and Interests theme.

16. Effort and Resignation

What Russell calls resignation is more popularly referred to these days as acceptance. The question discussed in this chapter is basically: Should we try to change the world or accept it the way it is? Russell takes a middle position, roughly equivalent to the Serenity Prayer.

17. The Happy Man

In the final chapter Russell comes back to his main point: attention should be focused outward, not inward. It is not the nature of most men to be happy in a prison, and the passions which shut us up in ourselves constitute one of the worst kinds of prisons. Among such passions some of the commonest are fear, envy, the sense of sin, self-pity and self-admiration. In all these our desires are centered upon ourselves: there is no genuine interest in the outer world, but only a concern lest it should in some way injure us or fail to feed our ego.

Conclusion:

In the book, Russell did not mention any thing about creating happiness by doing charity. After having made more money than you need and knowing that you cannot take any money along when you die, you must use some of my money to help poor people to make them happy. You will be happy to be able to create more happiness. 

I wish to elaborate item 7 The Sense of Sin as mentioned above. When I was a young boy I was giving private tuition to a very pretty fair Eurasian girl. We often went to cinemas and in the darkness I was tempted to touch her hands but I was told by my Catholic teachers that premarital sex was a sin. We were separated when I got a scholarship to study engineering. During the first holiday break, I visited my pretty girl friend and I was shocked to see her pregnant. My heart was broken- I lost my Marilyn Monroe.         

I trust my effort in writing this article will make more people happy. Instead of giving you fish I am teaching you how to fish.

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Discussions
10 people like this. Showing 50 of 138 comments

Desa20201956

I can talk sikit sikit about the subject because I sit through all 24 lectures by that Harvard Hal.
Reading the postings here...every body thinks he is an expert on happiness and nothing else to learn...but they are all wrong.

2016-02-03 23:14

Icon8888

When I flip open a book, it will take me one minute to decide whether I like it or not

If I like it I like it

If I don't like it I don't like it

I read what Uncle Koon write about Russel

I totally not impressed

Steven Covey makes more sense

2016-02-03 23:15

Desa20201956

Andrew Matthews another true expert
but more of a motivational speaker than a scientist.

2016-02-03 23:17

Icon8888

Desa talks a lot of nonsense

That is why I like Desa

He is entertaining

2016-02-03 23:17

Icon8888

When somebody is entertaining, he makes u happy

Russell is kindergarten

2016-02-03 23:18

Icon8888

If Russel can monkey around like Desa, I will give him a Like

2016-02-03 23:19

Desa20201956

Steven Covey is about success not happiness.
Andrew Matthews talks directly about happiness....

and that Harvard Professor guy is greatly influenced by Buddhism specifically Tibetan Buddhism.

the hottest topic on happiness today in all Ivy League campuses is called mindfulness meditation.

2016-02-03 23:22

Frankwood

Andrew Matthews books are about accepting who you are not false beliefs or negativity that wants to define you. And the art of going through life with sense of humour, always look at positive side of things. Reading his books make you smile again.

2016-02-03 23:22

Icon8888

Steven Covey book title is about success

But if u practise what he preaches, you will encounter less set back in life

That will make u more happy

Why is Desa so thick ? I am disappointed with Desa

2016-02-03 23:25

Frankwood

The good thing about Andrew Matthews books are the cartoons. You can copy them and put on your walls, most of them are hilarious. And i had many angry customers and friends walking out with a big smile on their face once they see Andrew Matthews works splashed on my office walls.

2016-02-03 23:26

Icon8888

Russell 's happiness theory is shallow

I don't feel anything impactful

Most of the time, this is the main reason I not in love with a book

2016-02-03 23:27

Desa20201956

mindfulness meditation is so popular nowadays that Singapore University, Singapore Management U both have mindfulness meditation professors teaching you mindfulness meditation for all sorts of problems including student problems, marriage problems, pain therapy, even cancer cure and general purpose all in therapy for every thing.

mindfulness meditation is supposed to make all students happy.

2016-02-03 23:32

Frankwood

Buddha taught us how to achieve nirvana state of meditation. Mindfulness meditation is Buddha teaching.

2016-02-03 23:36

Frankwood

Buddhist meditation encompasses a variety of meditation techniques that aim to develop mindfulness, concentration, supramundane powers, tranquility, and insight.

2016-02-03 23:39

Frankwood

Many misunderstood that Buddha represent a religion. It is not, it's a form of meditation but many mistook Buddhism as religion.

2016-02-03 23:42

Desa20201956

my original thoughts on Russell's treaties on happiness....

of course being logical is better than not logical but....there is a natural limit how much intellectuals and logics alone can contribute to societal and individual happiness.

there is also the question of individual differences, cultural differences, processes, hormones, lymphatic systems, biology, chemistry, life experiences, learned differences,

modern science is tackling the question on all fronts. ...but two words gains significance recently...it is meditation and gratitude, .

and how habits determine every thing.

2016-02-03 23:44

Desa20201956

Buddha is the original, world's first expert on happiness and expert on modern psychology.

2016-02-03 23:46

Frankwood

Buddha found a way to achieve highest degree of mind tranquility through meditation. You won't know anything about Buddhism until you master meditation.

2016-02-03 23:48

Icon8888

Ah, enough discussions

I will delete my comments

Icon better stick to stocks, don't talk 3 talk 4 about other things

2016-02-03 23:48

Frankwood

Unfortunately, Buddhism become too corrupted especially in Thailand. Latest rage, keeping doll to bring good luck. This is not part of Buddhism.

2016-02-03 23:50

Icon8888

Frank what religion is yours ? (Friendly discussion)

2016-02-03 23:51

Desa20201956

in future all psychologists have to be Buddhist experts and mindfulness meditation experts, that's how I see it and that is the direction how the profession is going.

2016-02-03 23:55

Ryan88

Desaicon, another couple here....haha

2016-02-03 23:56

3EMWE

once the doll start talking its a sign of good luck

2016-02-03 23:56

Frankwood

I try to learn and understand all religion. I do not subscribe to single religion.

Posted by Icon8888 > Feb 3, 2016 11:51 PM | Report Abuse

Frank what religion is yours ? (Friendly discussion)

2016-02-03 23:57

Frankwood

I live a simple life. As long as i am happy with what i do and have. I dont preach or set standards set by others. Why should i? i dont owe anyone an explanation for what i do with my life. Be happy.

2016-02-04 00:06

Frankwood

And one important thing, always collect happy moments every day even how small.

2016-02-04 00:16

Desa20201956

the Harvard Professor calls it diarying.

can anyone do it?

2016-02-04 00:22

Desa20201956

Happiness is a very tricky issue.
Choice always cause unhappiness
But we built a society giving people more and more choice, making people more and more unhappy.
Happiest are the Bhutans.....they got no choice, no wonder UN calls them the world's happiest country.

2016-02-04 08:55

Kian Leong Lim

Education gives people choices: when you learn you must think (for understanding) and when you think you must learn (apply what you learn from this world).
By Mark Twine

2016-02-04 09:01

sharktank

the ultimate happiness is when you accept things are impermanence and you do not attach to it, including your own body. : )

2016-02-04 09:41

Kian Leong Lim

Happiness is not a detachment from body or be a humanless person: (1) You have to do "what is important to people" inorder to gain happiness "what is important" from people. (2) You have to learn first before you do anything for people because you want to do something important for them under the environment and under the circumstances of your ability. (3) Apply what you learn and not apply what you think, do what other people consider important, necessary, or requirement for synergy and fairness. Then happiness will come eventually.

2016-02-04 10:06

Desa20201956

Buddha nature in a shark tank....very Dao.

sharktank > Feb 4, 2016 09:41 AM | Report Abuse

the ultimate happiness is when you accept things are impermanence and you do not attach to it, including your own body. : )

2016-02-04 10:32

ceki3

happiness has 2 kinds ;1) worldly happiness (just temporary),it may turn to disastrous
2) Holy happiness (True happ
iness)

If You can simplify and purify yourself like new born baby, you will live naturally and can have inner peace.

2016-02-04 10:50

Probability

aiyo...our ultimate aim is to prevent death......
but..just that we have given up..and hope there is a heaven (with 7 seven virgins waiting for you...who had obviously done a lot of sin...wah..that's why girls are more naughty than men...1:7 ratio!)

anyway...im not discouraging from u guys to hope for heaven, but may be just do your small part in in making this world closer to heaven if possible..like recommending good shares.

2016-02-04 11:09

Fam Jenny

Happiness is an internal emotion of having great joy and satisfaction in oneself and this can be contributed by our loved ones or by our ownselves.It is directly contrary to stress which can be generated if we are angry or unhappy.To avoid unhappiness we must minimise communication with people who are selfish,unreasonable,quarrelsome,irritable,exploiting,greedy and abusive.
Contrarily we can get happiness from people of great virtues such as kindness,generousity,truthfulness,humility,loyalty and sincerity.

2016-02-04 22:19

Fam Jenny

Jesus says we can be happy if we take in knowledge of God,I personally think so as we are aware of the future.

2016-02-04 22:23

Fam Jenny

God teaches the abovementioned virtues through his word,the bible which can educate us to inculcate these qualities in us,offsprings,friends and with people we meet daily.

2016-02-05 07:57

Desa20201956

wrong place Jenny......Lord Russell is an atheist who wrote Why I am not a Christian.

2016-02-05 10:47

Desa20201956

it is always a joy to read the works of Lord Bertrand Russell, even if it is just for the pure joy of reading it.
An intellectual giant of his time.

https://archive.org/stream/TheConquestOfHappiness/TheConquestOfHappiness-BertrandRussell#page/n6/mode/1up

whether as a leader or as a keen observer, his views represent those of the elites of the 20 century. ...the best of the best.

2016-02-05 16:13

Desa20201956

reading through the book, half way, brings back images of the 1950s, 1960s....very enjoyable....but also very different from the world of 2016.

2016-02-05 18:58

Sulcata

Nice article

2016-02-05 19:02

chrisyap

Hapi hapi tomorrow another hapi day.. no need ultimate one hehe

2016-02-05 20:50

Coldrisks

famny I will feel better if you stop talking nonsense god from your brain just keep it to yourself... please at least for the sake of Chinese new year...

2016-02-05 21:32

Fam Jenny

Coldrisks,the scriptures mention that if you mix with the wise ones you will be wiser and if you mix with the stupid ones you will become more stupid too.
So if you read bad articles you will become bad and if you read good virtues you will inculcate good virtues unless you love badness.
You are a free moral agent you can choose what you want but I will choose to listen to God because he is much smarter than a human who is just a speck of dust even he is very wealthy but is nothing when compares to the Almighty God.

2016-02-06 00:36

汇业

Mr Koon, does this email still available koonyewyin@gmail.com? my email was failed to send to u

2016-02-06 17:55

yewyin33

my new email address is yewyin33@gmail.com.

2016-02-07 09:48

Apollo Ang

already lost more than 1 mil in bursa until now broke,how to be happy?

2016-02-09 23:16

Fam Jenny

Apollo,I am very sorry to hear that but still you have to make the best of what you have now in order for your innocent loved ones to be happy too.Try to go back to work to earn some money so that you could solve your daily needs and save some if you can,it is really too late to cry over spilt milk.
I lost a substantial sum of money too but I won't allow it to affect my outlook in life and affect my happiness.There are many people who have lost everything during the superstorm, Haiyat but after that they make the best out of it because during the 'last days' there will be a lot of calamities which we cannot avoid.

2016-02-10 09:12

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